I started my coaching/practitioner practice as a life coach and NLP Practitioner then added EFT later. When I wanted to do my EFT training, I wanted to get trained as fast as I could. Finding a course in my city, that was happening within the next 6 months was challenging and I live in one of the world’s largest cities too. So, I found an international online course and enrolled in it. This course taught me EFT and how to apply it with clients. Nothing else. I spent the whole time I was studying this course thinking that if I didn’t have life coaching skills, didn’t understand the power of great questions and other personal transformation tools in my toolkit there is no way I could create a business from this. I graduated fast and added EFT to my client sessions promptly.
When I started my EFT Practitioner training school, I followed the same training curriculum as every other school was following. I graduated some great students who have gone on to do some amazing things in this world BUT there were also students who were struggling to develop their graduation into a thriving business.
For me this this led to one big question…What was missing?
I did some research with my students who were doing great things and compared them to the graduates who were struggling. I researched friends I had in the industry who had trained in EFT elsewhere and found out what skills other than the application of EFT they were trained in. I researched the curriculum of every other EFT Practitioner training I could find to compare their curriculum. I found the gaps.
The gaps were in the depth of the knowledge that they had developed during their training. The greater the depth of knowledge and their ability to apply this with clients, led to greater success of the Practitioner.
The greater success with their clients led to more referrals.
The more referrals led to longer client lists, more topics and issues they were exposed to and the opportunity to demand higher fees.
The Practitioner/Coaches who were making the biggest impact also had other tools, techniques and skills to draw on in a session, not just EFT. Don’t get me wrong, EFT is an amazing technique and can help a client on so many levels, but if you want to build a thriving business using EFT, make plenty of money (and trust me you do want to make plenty of money!) you’re going to need to make sure you have other tools. I have worked with so many clients who just don’t want to do the Tapping. They find it all too weird and it’s just not their thing. And that’s fine – but that doesn’t need to mean you can help them. For me I recognised that I needed other skills to work with them. Then there are those clients who are happy to do Tapping some sessions but not every session.
Let me also touch on the taboo money topic here too – since I mentioned it above. Many people come into these careers for very noble reasons, and so many don’t believe spirituality and money go together. If you want to make an impact on the world – big or small – you are going to need to earn money to sustain your message. Otherwise you will go broke. The more money you earn – the more you can be generous and philanthropic in other parts of your life. You may donate to a charity. You might want to start and fully fund a charity like I do.
Don’t let money be an evil. If you have issues with making great income as an EFT Practitioner/Coach – do some work on that block for yourself. Work with your own Practitioner. Work through your blocks yourself.
You will want to earn enough money to sustain yourself to share your message – whatever that looks like for you.
When I first added EFT to my client sessions, I was constantly surprised when EFT was so effective on reprogramming and releasing a clients’ issue that I hadn’t encountered before. I always enjoyed being challenged with a new past trauma or event that I hadn’t before worked on. Now while this may sound rather macabre to some people, I firmly believe that we learn something from each and every client that we work with. Each of these new events, traumas or tagged memories allowed me to learn more about my own skills and capabilities. It is through this upskilling that now allows me to take my clients deep into an issue and resolve it with them fast and effectively, not to mention permanently.
When I learned EFT, I did an online course that only taught me the basics of EFT and how to apply it. It taught me how to work on basic issues in a standard way. It taught me to do Tapping with every client, on every issue. However, in my hundreds of hours of client work, I know that not every session lends itself to Tapping. Sure, we are encouraged to tap on everything, but there are a lot of sessions that lend itself to an educational conversation instead. For instance, let’s say your client is heavily stuck in the Blame Game. You know the one. Its where they tell you “oh but he did this…and then she did that.” We all know the conversation I am talking about, and many of you reading this will be guiltily knowing that you still have those sorts of conversations. I know I certainly used to – all the time! Just tapping on the event, and who said what, will be relatively ineffective.
However, being able to demonstrate a behavioural model such as the Relationship Drama Cycle (see diagram below) to your client and having a conversation around their behaviour and how they see themselves playing the drama can be far more beneficial in serving your client in this session.
Another core component of a great Practitioner/Coach is the ability to ask great questions and hold the space (aka the silence) while your client comes up with the answer. It’s in these great questions that we help to open up our client to other ways of thinking because we hold them in a conversation like no other, where they are asked questions they have probably never been asked before and their responses are usually things they have not thought of in a long time, if ever. Great question skills are essential to your effectiveness as a Practitioner. And remember my wish for you is for you to be trained to the highest standard so you may command the highest fees.
After I graduated from my EFT school, I wasn’t satisfied with the level of information I knew about my now favourite topic. I was like an information sponge and looking to soak up all I could find. I bought every reputable book about EFT, Tapping and studied them. I am one of those people who have books with paragraphs coloured with highlighter and sticky note tabs on lots of pages. Every advanced tool I learned, I applied it with someone. The ones I liked, I repeated. The ones I didn’t, I let go. But I wanted to learn more and more.
I know that had I only learned EFT Tapping and not taking my skill level higher, I would not be able to get the shifts and transformation for my clients as deep or as fast as I am able to do.
For me, the answer will always be no to this question. Other schools may answer differently depending on the topics they teach.
I firmly believe that if you only know Tapping with clients, and miss essential coaching components, you are not fully equipped to help your clients with everything. It’s the gold your client reveals in the coaching conversation that allows you to direct the session to where you will serve your clients best.
Without the coaching conversation I believe you are limiting yourself to the clients who will be attracted to your business., and why would you want to do that?
You will want to help as many people as you can with as many issues as you can.
A typical client session will involve you settling your client into the space, whether that is online or face to face with a range of questions designed to establish rapport with the client, which in turn allows you to lead them through the transformation. The session will also have your client doing around 80% of the talking, unless you are leading them through Tapping sequences.
Everyone has a “rule book” for their own life. A list of shoulds and should nots that help us to make sense of our own world and to know when we feel safe and not so safe. Our job is to understand our clients rule book, not to enforce our own rule book onto them. Our sessions are not spaces where we do a lot of the talking. A session isn’t a space for you to give them advice and tell them what they should do either. Our job is to interpret their world from their responses and to help them to realign what isn’t working for them. In my opinion, Tapping is the tool we use to realign their world with them, but only after our great questioning skills has helped them to reveal their world to us.
I still have clients that love to work with me but don’t like doing the Tapping, particularly when they first start seeing me. This is definitely where the coaching questions and skills come into play. Its also why I believe understanding several different human behavioural models can be invaluable too. If you have a client who is resistant to tapping, you must be able to work with them in other modalities. When I had a full client list, many of my clients were referrals from friends or family members who had worked with me, so they weren’t always coming to see me with a knowledge of the benefits of tapping. They were coming because someone told them they should see me as I could help them. Resistance to tapping was common place. I’ve never forced someone to Tap with me. I have never made it a big deal if they don’t want to, I have simply shifted to another modality and helped them in that way. That’s why I believe you need a full toolkit of techniques, tools and skills.
One of the greatest gifts we can give to another person is presence. The time and space for them to truly feel heard and listened to. To be 100% present for them.
One of the other great gifts we can give is to care enough about someone to help them to transform their life to be a better them. To be better, to have better.
To me, great questioning skills delivers these gifts to anyone we meet.
Often when we meet someone, the questions we ask are rather superficial. We don’t really care about the answer. We are often just being polite or making small talk. When this is our client’s reality when they come to see us, and we ask them questions like they have never been asked before – this is a whole new level of conversation.
Great questioning skills involves lot of shhhhhhhhhh. It involves you mastering the art of asking a great question then closing your lips and saying nothing else. By social conditioning, us humans don’t like silence. We seem to have the need to fill that space with words, well most of us do anyway. In a client session, we can use this to our advantage – a lot!
Examples of questions that we like to use include:
- For what purpose….
- I wonder….
- I’m curious….
- I’m thinking….
- I could be wrong….
- Is it hard, or just unfamiliar?
- What have you been tolerating/putting up with?
- What is this about
- Could this be an example of……?
- What’s preventing
I have found that using the some of the above questions in my daily life, have transformed any number of my personal relationships too. My personal favourite is “for what purpose?” This has totally replaced any “why?” question in my vocabulary. I find that any question with an element of “why?” questions the other persons’ integrity or identity and the usual response to this is for the other person to defend their position. This might come out as anger, or upset depending on how this questions triggers the other person.
The kind of questions we teach our students to avoid include:
- Why did you do that?
- Did you do it?
- Can you do it?
- Why are you telling me this?
- Are you going to do it?
- Why can’t I?
- Do you agree?
- Am I right?
These are everything from confrontational to completely closed off questions that will result in either rapport being broken, your client being offended, or a yes/no response being provided. All of which will give you nothing to work with, when your job is to give space for your client to tell you the information you need to support them best.
I am a firm advocate of life-long learning. I have never stopped being curious and wanting to learn, and I never intend to. What I have never agreed with us being forced to learn or upskill in topics or modalities dictated by another person or organisations, particularly to maintain an accreditation, usually that I have to pay for.
I am an adult. I take my business seriously. I want to deliver the very best experience for my clients that I can. This has required me to take my continuing education seriously. I expect the same for my graduates as well as any one else in an industry where we help other people.
I expect that all our gradates will want to learn more, will apply themselves to master their craft and add more and more skills to their toolkit. If they don’t, this will become directly reflected in their business and their client numbers. As our skillset increases, this reflects in our confidence, which then impacts our self-worth and our ability to charge higher rates.
The more you learn. The more you can teach. Whether you are an EFT Practitioner who continues their business seeing clients 1 on 1 or whether you choose to leverage your time and create programs and workshops.
The more you learn. The more you can teach.