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Are males and females the same species?

Australian Tapping Institute / EFT  / Are males and females the same species?
Jan2019

Are males and females the same species?

It surprises me regularly how humankind is still in existence. There are times when I think that males and females are actually different species.  We talk different, we behave different.  We walk different. We react to problems different. We think different and science has proven that our brains are wired different too. So how have we managed as a species to make relationships and co- habitating work?

I think it’s the polarity that makes relationships work. We know that the balance of masculine and feminine energy within one person is important so it also seems that this balance within a relationship is important. It’s seems less important whether the woman is being more feminine or the man is demonstrating masculine. It’s this polarity that makes it work.

We have all witnessed many relationships, successful or long-standing ones, where the woman demonstrates more masculine behaviours than her mate. She makes the decisions, she has a career where she makes lots of decisions, she is very comfortable instructing her mate in the tasks she needs done.  He is comfortable following her lead and doing these tasks.  His more masculine-energy mates might even call him names like pussy or wimp. Outside of the home he could also have a great career or perhaps play a masculine sport. It’s in the co-habitation space that the polarity is essential.

But if we have men being more feminine and women being more in their masculine energy, how does this all work?

Last year, I did a lot of deep inner work into who I am and what I want my life to be about. I explored through a regular practice of feminine workshops. I had recognised how much I spent my day in my masculine energy.  Saw how much of my entire life I had been in my masculine energy.  I even grew up in a household where my (full-time working) mum was left with all the decision making – a masculine energy process. I learned a lot about responsibility, taking control and making things happen. All masculine energy actions.

Until recently I had a high end corporate job with plenty of decision making needed.  At the same time, growing my business as a sole-preneur.  A ran a household.  I raised my sons single-handedly since 2001. All parts of my life required my more masculine side to be prominent. I wasn’t happy about this.

I married again in 2008 however this still didn’t result in a mate who wanted to take over any of the decision making. I was still left to do all the decision making, manage the finances, pay the bills and keep the family organised with routines. I even did all the driving when we went out. I was still heavily weighted towards my masculine side.

My revelation came recently, through my desire to finally consider a suitable partner for myself after more than 3 years of flying solo. I know I want to experience a relationship where I can be more in my feminine side, particularly in my romantic relationships. This led to considering thoughts about the kind of man I want to attract into my life. I want to experience a man who is comfortable in his masculine energy.  That led to thoughts about how I would match that person. Again, I thought about the polarity. That polarity of the masculine and feminine energy balance within relationships.  The polarity within myself.

It dawned on me then that I had been so focussed on where I wasn’t in my feminine, that I was ignoring all the times, the activities and events that I do relax into my feminine energy.  I love feeling my feminine creative side,or doing my hair and getting dressed up to go out.  My shoe obsession.  My flirtatious playful nature. My nurturing conversations with friends, my clients. All feminine traits.  The balance, the polarity is available to me. Right now.  It wasn’t that I didn’t have feminine energy within my body. It wasn’t that I spent too much time in my masculine energy.  It was that I was ignoring all the times when I was relaxed in my feminine energy.

Focus.  It was a simple case of where was I focussing. We have an analogy in coaching – where you shine your flashlight, that is what you will see. I was focussed on what I thought I was missing. I had created a belief in my life that I was too much in my masculine energy too often. That’s all I noticed. My focus. I was ignoring all the times where I was enjoying being in my feminine energy. My flashlight was only on the times in my day when I was in my masculine energy.  When I stopped and considered this belief. When I took the time to challenge this belief I realised that it simply wasn’t true.  My focus was not a balanced focus.  My belief was created, and kept alive, by simply forgetting to focus elsewhere.

Shine your flashlight across the whole spectrum of your life – not just one facet!  Not just into the space of what you think is missing.  Remember to shine your flashlight on what you already have.  This will give you the ability to see your own balanced world.

 


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